Rebecca’s perspective

I enjoyed nearly six months of ante-natal care by Elke and Jacqui. During their visits, in addition to obstetric evaluation, I received abundant information and was then free to make my own choices. Cumulatively, this process paid immense dividends during the birth - I felt completely at ease in their presence and trusted wholeheartedly in their professionalism, expertise and extensive experience.

My baby decided to arrive three weeks early. In fact, I was so sure that I would be overdue that I was at my parents’ home a hundred miles from London when my waters broke early one morning. I telephoned Elke to ask if this sign, plus a ‘show’ and period-type pain were anything significant? "Yes, of early labour", was her commendably calm but rather terse reply, together with a command to get myself back to London. We left immediately, my husband Michael concentrating fiercely on the motorway through torrential rain whilst also timing my contractions (15 minutes apart) as I kept up cheerful banter on the back seat.

Once home at 1pm, I instinctively made for our bedroom, drawing the curtains for darkness and backing myself into a corner. Michael helped me focus on hypnobirthing visualisations and provided light touch massage (six hours worth, truly, my hero), which proved to be all the pain relief I needed.

Elke arrived in a comforting swirl of orange together with enough birth equipment to nearly cause herself a hernia up the three flights of stairs to our flat. She laid out her birth mat and at intervals monitored the baby’s heartbeat. As Jacqui arrived I dazedly wandered past stark naked en route to the loo, waving in greeting. Having midwives who already felt like friends ensured I didn’t lose my thread of concentration for a moment.

Instinctively, I moved in ways that enhanced gravity – leaning against the wall or over a chair. Elke’s genius (and I honestly think it to be that) was to suggest new positions to assist the baby’s descent whilst keeping to her own ‘space’, touching and encouraging me but not being intrusive or interfering. In tandem, Jacqui (writing immaculate notes in the near dark) would proffer remedies from my homeopathic kit at precisely the right moments. I had occasional bouts of shivering, vomiting and tiredness that were soothed and dealt with so that I never entirely lost confidence in myself.

Nicholas was born at 7pm, Elke guiding my breathing as his head crowned. I was in shock at first, not quite believing what I’d achieved. Elke carried out the necessary checks whilst I held him and tried to come to terms with a world that had just fundamentally and permanently shifted in focus. I delivered the placenta naturally then stepped into a bath run for me, nursing Nicholas whilst enjoying cake and a cup of tea in the tub. Heavenly! An hour later later Elke and Jacqui had tidied up the very modest ‘mess’, tucked me and baby up in bed and kissed us au revoir. Nothing, but nothing, surely beats a home birth.

I continued to profit from my midwives’ care during their post-natal visits, when I would bombard them with questions about the baby, weep or talk non-stop. Their reassurance was invaluable: their ‘mothering’ of me enabled me to mother my baby and to master breastfeeding. When, after a month, it was time to say goodbye, I felt quite bereft of their company. One birth at a time, I believe that they change the world for the better. My baby is calm and content, as is his mother, an outcome I attribute to a pregnancy and birth that felt relaxed, secure and confident under the aegis of these superlative midwives.

Michael’s perspective

From the very beginning, I trusted my wife’s instinct about getting independent midwifes. However, I had no idea what we would have to deal with. The first meeting with Elke was a very pleasant surprise – it was open, frank, unrushed and most of all, not a sales pitch; quite the contrary!

Throughout Rebecca’s pregnancy I valued the care and interest both Jacqui and Elke showed. They were always at the end of the phone when needed and their visits felt like those of good friends.

On the big day itself, Rebecca has given a very accurate record of what happened. Although I don’t tend to panic, I have never been present at a birth. So the prompt arrival of Elke, swiftly followed by Jacqui, was a great relief and reassurance that things were going to be fine. Probably the most important thing to do as a man is to put your utmost faith in the mother’s ability to do what comes naturally. Rebecca was a real trooper, dealing with every new wave of intensity, just as she was claiming she was not going to be able to cope.

When baby Nicholas arrived, it was a moment of elation, that both of them had reached the end of this tremendous journey safe and healthy. As a new father I would not change this experience for any amount of ‘brandy or cigars and pacing in the corridor outside’!

October 2006